


Of Sighs and Broken Secrets

by Kqaunhynk_The_Princess



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Broken Bones, Dark Stiles, Dead Characters, F/F, Hearing Voices, Memories, Multi, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Rotting Dead People, Sad, Scared Stiles, Self-Harm, Stiles Has Nightmares, Stiles blames himself, Suicidal Stiles Stilinski, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Why Did I Write This?, hurt/comfort?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 14:52:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4440101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kqaunhynk_The_Princess/pseuds/Kqaunhynk_The_Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He tries his best to ignore it, the daunting little voice, dancing in the back of his head. But he can't, not when it sounds so much like her. Like him. Like them. All of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Sighs and Broken Secrets

Stiles bends his head to his hands. He screws his eyes shut and fights panic down. He could hear them, all of them, all around him, all the time. Screaming- asking him why. He screams back, telling them that he was sorry, that it wasn't his fault. But they blame him. They blame him and he blames himself. They never leave. He drifts through school, day after day. Suffering the screams of the dead. An invaluable feeling of dread, constantly weighing him down. 

All he felt was cold. Pressing heavily from all sides, like he was trapped under a layer of ice from every angle. It was impossible to break away from his thoughts. The thoughts of what he had done. Scott, Coach, everyone. His fault, he thinks to himself that he wasn’t strong enough. He lays awake for hours, listening to the dead. When he finally does manage to sleep, he dreams of them. His mother. Beautiful, dressed in a white gown, her hair tied up, flowers bound throughout. She would have been lifelike almost, if her face hadn't been a wrangled mess of rotten flesh and maggot covered darkness. His screams echo throughout his dreams, into reality. His father is there, like he always is. His quiet voice, attempting to soothe. It doesn't do anything anymore. Stiles pretends to calm down as the voices scream in his head. His father leaves. Stiles lays awake in his bed. 

Sometimes the dream changes. Instead of his mother, it's one of the other people he killed. Back when the Nogistune mastered his body. Sometimes it's members of Scott's pack- or Scott himself. Sometimes it's Donovan. A white suit, compete with a white rose, like the ones his mother wears in her hair... Whoever it is, the message is always the same. 

" _You did this to us, Stiles Stilinski, Now we'll do the same too you."_

Stiles never mentions this too anyone. He starts to think them right. He doesn’t deserve to live, not when they are all dead or dying. Because of him. He shouldn’t be able to feel all the things that they can’t. He doesn’t deserve to feel Malia’s nails on his back, having her shoved between himself and a wall, their lips against each other. He was killing her too.

He sits awake, rocking, voices screaming at him to do it. He can feel himself falling apart, it felt like he was being torn to pieces. He throws his fist into the wall. Pain shoots through his hand and he can hear bones snap. His father is out. No one is here to stop him from hurting himself- or anyone else. Pure desperation causes him to rip his nails down his own arms. His face feels wet. He clings to his pillow. He didn't deserve anything good anymore. He'd never deserved anything good. Not Malia, not Derek, not Scott, not Scott's pack. Not after everything he had done.  He should have done this years ago. Ended it all while he was still a kid. So many lives would have been saved. Scott never would have changed. The Argents wouldn't be a broken mess, with just Chris remaining. His parents... His mom...

Stiles feels like he can't breathe.


End file.
